get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
