Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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