I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
