I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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