I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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