Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
NoShamevember. You game?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
