Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
