Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
