My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The beer is more important than you right now.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
