My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
