For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
