She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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