He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
