i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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