I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Are we still banned from the library?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
