put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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