I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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