D3 body, D1 cock
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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