This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
