would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
