Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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