I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
