God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
