I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
