I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
it's great music for shaving your balls
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
