he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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