yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
