No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
