friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
