I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
