I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
