I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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