No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
