walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
