Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
