I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
