That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
