..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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