omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
