One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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