He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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