Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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