That's when you crack a 10am beer
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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