He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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