I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
