why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
