break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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