i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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