I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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