Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
