I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You did what with his pubic hair?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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