HIV tests are more positive than that guy
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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