already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
